I Miss Him But He Doesn’t Miss Me

It’s undoubtedly one of the worst feelings in the world: you and this super special guy have been getting along for quite some time, going on dates, texting all day, and having the time of your lives. And then suddenly things take a turn for the worse and you find yourself arguing a lot more, those special dates and romantic moments seeming to disappear into the night. And as the story would go, the two of you break up, and you’re left devastated and heartbroken.

But wait.

You can’t help but notice that nothing has really changed on his end. He goes about his day to day business, laughing and smiling with his friends, classmates, and coworkers, without a care in the world. He doesn’t seem to be broken in the slightest, and worst of all- he doesn’t miss you. While you’re sitting in your bed with a few teardrops running down your cheek, waiting with anticipation for him to send you an ‘I miss you’ or ‘I’m sorry’ text, he’s out having the time of his life not missing you a bit.

What gives?

First of all, let me tell you this much: you’re NOT the first lady this has happened too, and you WON’T be the last. So don’t ever feel like there is something wrong with you or you’re somehow lesser than anyone else. This is just something that happens, as terribly awful as it is.

Do you really miss HIM?
Love. It’s SO confusing, right? Every aspect is just an endless spiral of confusion with no way out. And of course, it’s the same for when you breakup with someone too. That being said, do you really miss HIM? Or do you simply miss having someone around that loves you and cares about you?
Think about it- and I mean really THINK. Was it HIM that did anything special for you, or was it just the moments and feelings the two of you shared? Nine times out of ten, we just miss the moments. We miss the good morning text messages and the silly dates at the park where you fed ducks and sped around on scooters like you were in junior high. And most of all, we miss the deep hugs and fireworks every time we kissed.

Why doesn’t he miss ME?
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in this position before; and it’s AWFUL. “How can he not miss me? How can he act like everything’s normal when it’s NOT? Did he never care about me in the first place? What is WRONG with me!” And ladies, before you send your brain into an emotional train wreck of thoughts and conclusions, take a peek ahead at some of the reasons he might not miss you.

He’s just not showing it. I think by now we all know that the majority of men aren’t really all that ‘emotional’. They don’t display affection very well and they definitely aren’t going to let us- or anyone else for that matter- see them cry. So why on earth would he let you know that his heart is truly aching? He may just be keeping his emotions in-tact and not letting his real feelings shine through. In this particular case, you’ll probably end up hearing from him sooner than later. Nobody can leave their feelings bottled up without doing a single thing about it.

He’s being strong. Not to say you aren’t strong, but maybe there’s another thought process going on inside of his head. Maybe he really DOES miss you, but he knows there’s no future with you. Yes, that’s some very cold hard truth, but it needed to be said. Sometimes, even though we may be deeply in love with someone, we know that the relationship will eventually fail. The two of you may have a deep connection, but be on totally different pages about very important things. If you weren’t able to work out these differences before the breakup, then you probably aren’t going to do it now.

He’s keeping himself busy. He’s probably decided to pick up that extra shift from work just so he doesn’t have to go home and be tempted to pick up the phone and call you. Maybe he’s decided to pick up a class at the community college or has taken up a new hobby to keep his mind off of things. So, you saw him out with his buddies three days in a row, huh? That must be because he totally doesn’t care the two of you broke up, right? Absolutely wrong! He’s probably just trying to have some FUN and take his mind off of the hurt he’s feeling on the inside. You know what they say, laughter is the best medicine!

He met someone else. Ouch, yes. This is probably the one you didn’t want to read. But hey, if this is the case, you’re going to find out soon enough anyways, right? Yeah, it will probably add even more ache to your heart, but sometimes these things happen. He may have met someone else and is totally infatuated with them, leaving you to be a part of his past and nothing else.

He never really cared. Ladies, we all know that there are men out there who are just flat out jerks. They play too many games! They say one thing: “Oh you’re the best girlfriend ever, I hope we last forever” with ten thousand kissy face and heart emoticons, but the next day they completely change their tune: “Oh, yeah hey sup” five hours after reading our text to them. Sometimes men just play games and never really develop actual feelings to begin with, even when they say they do. In this case, of course they aren’t going to miss you. (On the other hand, there’s a few guys out there who will realize they really had feelings for you AFTER the breakup- in which case they’ll let you know!)

What should you do if you miss him?
There is definitely a RIGHT way and a WRONG way to handle missing a man. First things first..

Hold the memories close to you. Just because the two of you broke up doesn’t mean you have to completely remove him from your memory. While it may seem like a good idea to pretend he doesn’t exist, it will actually do you a big favor in the long run to hold the memories close. Look back on those moments with a soft heart, thinking “Those WERE some wonderful times, but there is better times ahead!” Because yes, those were great times in your life and they shouldn’t be forgotten- just stored away, and certainly not chased.

Let him know how you feel- ONCE. You’re hurt because the two of you broke up. You miss him terribly and want him back. It’s A-OKAY to let him know, as long as you do it ONE time- so make sure you have all of your thoughts in order before you send him the long text or voicemail. Don’t be the girl that’s bothering him every other hour of the day with ‘I miss you’ texts or ‘Please come back to me’ voicemails; these are just annoying, desperate, and will push him away even further. Letting him know how you feel and how important he is to you ONE time will put the thought in his head and let him know what’s going on without pressuring him. If he feels the same way, he will let you know.

Don’t stalk him. I know it’s tempting to keep checking his Facebook or Instagram to see what he’s doing and who he’s with, but you really need to stop. That’s going to make the situation a million times worse. Out of sight out of mind, remember? Okay, maybe he will still be lurking in your mind quite often, but it’ll only make the thought of him more prominent when you’re checking up on him every five seconds. Seriously, get a life lady! ��

Have some fun. Now is the PERFECT time to call your gal pals and head down to the salon. Switch up your hairstyle- do something bold or keep it simple- and get a fresh coat of paint on those fingernails and toes. You’ll feel a million times better about yourself, and getting out with your best friends is always an easy fix for a broken heart. Hey, maybe there will even be time for a nice restaurant or bars after the pedicures, too? Just ask the bartender to make you something to fix a broken heart- I’m sure he’s got a super awesome secret recipe that will make you feel a little bit better!

So, quick recap: it’s totally okay to miss your ex-boyfriend, but just make sure you do it the right way. Let him know how you feel ONE time; if he wants to be with you, he will let you know. Anything else will just make you look desperate. Keep a smile on your face, ladies!